Being home for the holidays means being long distance with my significant other (S.O.), so I thought it was the perfect time to tell you why you should give long distance a go, should you get the opportunity. 

Just for background, Bailey and I did long distance (3,000+ miles and a 5 hour time difference) for roughly 8 months of our relationship. We met in the first semester of my senior year of college and fell in love before he moved back to England at the end of that term, meaning that we had only known each other for 4 months before we started our long distance relationship. A little over a year later, we are living together in the UK and couldn’t be happier (except maybe if we got a puppy 😉 haha just kidding!) But seriously, our lives have changed for the better, and that wouldn’t have been possible without long distance.

I want to start off by saying that I believe everyone can do a long distance relationship but they can’t do it with just anyone. Like with any relationship, you could thrive doing long distance with one person and absolutely hate it with someone else. Your S.O. is what makes it either really hard or really easy. If they aren’t as committed as you, it’s probably not going to work out. I also want to make it clear that I don’t prefer long distance to being with my S.O., I simply view it as a means to an end. That being said, when we first started dating we didn’t have a flight booked to see each other again, or any real plan for one of us to move. Those things came with time, so don’t disregard the idea just because there’s no clear end in sight. 

I will never forget being asked, “why did you choose to date someone, knowing that they are from another country and your time with them is limited?” The answer to me was so simple, but the reality is that most people wouldn’t start a relationship off long distance and even couples who have been together, break up when someone moves or even travels short term (which I’m going to consider less than 1 year) for reasons such as: they want to “fully” experience a new place, or they think a virtual relationship isn’t a “real” relationship. And respectfully, I think those are cop-outs. 

Now the last thing I want to do is completely discredit those reasons mentioned above. What they represent is the underlying feeling of fear, which is totally valid. Starting a long distance relationship is scary. I mean it’s probably one of the most involved commitments you can make with a person because it requires making a conscious effort and a level of creativity to “be” with your S.O while physically being apart. And I was certainly not immune to fear of the unknown. I was really scared about when I would see him again, how we would make it work long-term, the financial realities of traveling to see each other, the visa processes (with an international relationship), and so much more! All I knew was that we wanted to be together and that was really all that mattered. I chose to date Bailey, knowing that he was from England and was leaving the U.S. indefinitely because I was in love with him. Call me crazy, but that makes sense to me.

It’s really very simple, either you want to be in a relationship (and are willing and able to put in the necessary work for it) or you don’t. I’m not going to tell you the magic things you have to do to be successful with long distance because it’s different for every couple. You’ll have to figure out how much you want to communicate, how often you plan to see each other, what things you’ll do to bond, who is going to move, etc. But I’m guessing you’re reading this because you want to know whether you should pursue long distance or not. I can’t say whether it’s right for you and a specific person, because in all honesty it might not be. It’s not that you can’t do long distance (because you certainly can!), but you can’t do it with just anyone. But if it is the right person, you love and trust each other, have good communication skills, and are financially stable, why wouldn’t you?! While it’s not always easy, and you will miss your S.O. like crazy when you’re apart, it’s worth it.